[Briggsy]
Sanity yet to be verifiedNan
2007-02-24
I stole your grandmothers teeth one day,
put them in my mouth and run away,
she didn't really know what to say
and if she did you wouldn't understand her
( she cant eat chicken she cant eat beef
she only eats soup coz she got no teeth)
[Once upon a time she was 18 stone
but now she's been reduced to skin and bone]
Whole nuts
2007-02-16
The funny farm is warm in the winter
It's a nice place to go,
You can eat as much as you want for free
as long as you dribble and shout he he.
They're my kind of people, I really fit in
My winter home is the looney bin
Oh crap
2007-02-16
To cure my wife's* constipation i put a spider in the bathroom....she shits herself when she sees a spider.
(*The wife to which i refer is non existant....[thank fuck])
Ghosts
2007-02-16
I keep finding white handkerchief's around the house. I'm not sure where they come from, but i have a theory as to what they could be.....Ghost shit.
No other rational explanation for it :~J
(I also have a muslim ghost that haunts me. I know it's a muslim because it wears a brown sheet)
Swatting up
2007-02-15
We all hate flies, and we all have our own way of dealing with the little twats. The best way is to pull your trousers down, stick your arse in the air and wait for the wankers to land by your ringpiece (because as we all know, flies love the smell of shit). Then all you have to do is clench your arse cheeks together to capture the bastards.It works for me :~}
Life hurts
2007-02-11
You extracted my love
and grew it,
deprived me of the results
and made me pay for it,
sent me to hell for the hell of it.
Where is the logic?
where are my children?
..........................................
The mad Welshman
2007-02-08
I'm a redneck celt
short and strong,
although I'm vocally challenged
I fill the valleys with song.
I live in a tree
with my dog and his fleas,
I have a hat made of wood
and a coat made of leaves.
I dont like people
they dont like me,
I haven't got a wife
I like to be free.
Dr who?
2007-02-07
I went to the doctors driving a hearse,
Walked in slowly dresed as a nurse,
I asked for a job but they said i couldn't hack it,
I ended up leaving in a straight jacket.
Another prick in the wall
2007-02-07
I diddnt git no ejucaton coz pink floydd sayd not to. do yoo think i culld soo them!Created with ShoutPost
